Saturday, September 28, 2013

Top Ten Comforts, by Janet Lee

Tammy Kennon, of the Plodding in Paradise blog, wrote a blog titled Tammy's Ten Things that make her life on board better.  She asked the Women Who Sail Facebook participants to make their own list of items, and since I am a participant I recorded my own top ten.  At Tammy's suggestion I offer my top ten list to our blog followers, not necessarily in any order or significance.  Save one.  I would also like to point out, at this juncture of the post, that Adventure Us 2 has not yet cut the dock lines.  It should therefore be understood that my top ten list of things that make my life better on board will most certainly change as we make our way out into the wild blue.

The first item up and probably definitely my number one boy toy item would be: My Michael.  I'm not saying that he is an item but, he posses a certain item that makes me a happy girl.  Least you think I suffer from some kind of item envy, there happens to be two other reasons for this choice.   My Michael can do almost everything.  He can cook, sew, and make me laugh. He can fix just about anything and if he doesn't know about something he gathers information until he can figure it out.  He can shop, he can paint a pretty an awesome picture, he can decorate the house, and he has great ideas.  The other reason I want to keep him on board is because he has my heart and he won't give it back. 
What a hunk of burnin love.
Second item that makes my life better is Vodka.


The third item that makes my life better is wine.

Fourth is food.  Food is a necessity, (although vodka and wine are made from food and might make good substitutes) we all need food.   Sometimes, when I get home from work the first thing out of my mouth is: "Man, I'm starved."  My Michael's response is always, "Are you whining"?  "No, I am not whining, but if we are out of vodka or wine you will hear me scream like a possessed banshee". 

Water is the source of life and is my fifth item that makes my life better on board.   Rain is sent from the heavens by God to wash His earth in a shower of love.   Rain makes the flowers grow and the rivers flow.  Someone recently said:  "Rain makes corn, corn makes whisky, whisky makes my baby a little frisky".  Seriously?  If you ask me, rain makes grapes, grapes make wine, wine makes my baby really, really, really, fine, and oh so sexy.    Besides, how is a girl to rinse her hair?  In salt water?  I don't think so.  Seriously!   

Splish Splash!
One thing I cannot live without, and my sixth item is: music.   Music makes me happy, especially when I have to go to my special padded room place.  Music takes me back,  makes assist me in remembering certain events from my past, and fills me with joy, inspiration, and happiness.    Music makes me peaceful, and if we run out of vodka or wine, music drowns out my whining.

Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
I'm just a hunka hunka of burning love

Remember the Oprah Show when she went out and about talking to women in grocery stores, gyms, and on the street asking them just one question?  "Are you as cute as you can be?"  If you have to go out into the world, you should at least make an attempt to be as 'cute as you can be', so as not to frighten anyone.  Especially little children, or the hunk of burnin love sitting across the salon.  This is why I will never be without my seventh item that makes my life on board better; mascara and lip gloss.  

The Internet.   Nuff said.  What would we do without it?  It's like water, the source of life, and with it I can hunt down the best prices on vodka and wine. 
The interweb

All of us have addictions, vices, and weaknesses.  Mine is not something that one needs a Hefty garbage bag of fifties to purchase.  Mine is not one that will hurt anyone.  Mine is  not one that will make me look younger.  Mine is....drum roll....

You know those juicy, red, flimsy sticks of chewy, luscious candy that taste so scrumptious when they are fresh.  I have to force myself not to walk down the candy aisles because if I see them, I need them.  It wouldn't be so bad if I could eat just one here, or one there, but Nooooo !  I want them all, right now.  I want them to gush between my teeth.  I want to drink milk through them. I want to lay them in the sun and get all soft and juicy.  I want, I want, I want.

Okay, how many is that?  Ten, eleven?  Well that's my list for now of ten items that makes my life sweet on Adventure Us 2.  But, the main thing we all need on our boats, to make our lives better, is the basis of all peace and happiness:


Let me offer this disclaimer just in case you think I have a drinking problem.   In all honesty we have had the same bottle of vodka for at least, oh I don't know, the last 2 days, and our wine collection has dust all over it cause My Michael took away my key to the wine cellar.